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13 August 2012

Friendships

Ok, I am back with more heavy, but it's getting lighter so that is a good thing.
Friendships.. especially ones that aren't that great, and dealing with them.
First let me say that I am a total people pleas er and avoid conflict as much as possible, so this makes it kinda hard for me to end things when they should be ended, or to say NO when I should.
I have been reading the YouVersion.com detox plan and it talked about toxic people in our lives. I would never call someone toxic because I think it's just rude but I do know that relationships can be toxic, and relationships can't get hurt feelings so I have no problem saying they are toxic.
My issue is dealing with them! I just don't know how, and partially because I hate to admit it has to happen. It makes me feel like I have done something wrong, or I am just not good enough and that is just not a good feeling. But it's also super hard to make yourself more vulnerable and ASK.
For me and these relationships I am just letting them fizzle out and avoiding all that vulnerableness. Sometimes it's just 1 thing that really makes you see clearly that you are
not nearly as important to someone as they are to you.
It happens in different ways, a hurtful message or comment that they don't see as hurtful, a lack of messages or just a continuing of only being your "friend" when they need something. To know who you use for a babysitter or where you got a sweater. If you can help with a get together or when they are having one of those home parties.  I saw this on facebook and I don't think I could have said it better!
I feel like I am pretty easy to get a long with because I have no problem agreeing to disagree and instead enjoying the things I have in common with friends. But when something is off I stress about it, and over think it and spend FAR too much time worrying and wondering what I have done wrong or why I am not good enough. It will always be a struggle for me but I have a little family and they all need me more than I need to worry about why someone doesn't want to be the type of friend I am. But it is still hard to just things go, for me anyway it's hard. I don't know how other people can just decide to be done one day and really be done.
On the good side though all this also makes me so thankful for those friends I have had for a long time who are always there and the ones that are new but already special.


2 comments:

  1. I have a really hard time with this too. Partly because I have very few friends, so even if the friendships I have aren't the best for me, I try to foster them so I'm not totally alone.

    Wow, makes me sound like a total loser, but what can I do.

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  2. Mary! You are such a sweetheart, I find it hard to believe you don't have a lot of friends! I think having kids in different stages makes it hard sometimes to find similar moms too. And you are not a loser :)

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